She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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