im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
