i think i have two assholes
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
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