I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
