How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
