then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize