I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
