i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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