Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
