Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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