its not stalking. its research.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
