Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
