I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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