We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
