thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
