Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I CAN MOONWALK!
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
