too bad you live with your parents still
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
