Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Boobs speak an international language.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
