i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
