I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She needs sedatives and a leash
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
