How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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