She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize