I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
