I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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