is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize