You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize