I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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