Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
