you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
