kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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