She's just so happy...and so naked.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
