I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
