is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
