I wannas sexs uuuuu
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
