When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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