I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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