i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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