Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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