He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
