I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Randomize
