he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Randomize
