I'm pants shitting drunk right now
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I just found a bag of teeth...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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