She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
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