So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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