I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
