I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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