someone get that fucking seahorse.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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