This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
