he puts the penis in happiness.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
