My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
