Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
