Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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