this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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