week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
