I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
