I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
