Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
