That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
this hospital has no fireball
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
