let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
