I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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