I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
