The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
