so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
