Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
It's shark week go big or go home
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Drunk is a universal language darling
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
