Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
