lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
ok first of all what the fuck
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
