i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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