i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
