Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
