Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
