Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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