I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
