ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
