Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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